Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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