you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, he came in my armpit
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
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