You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
