wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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