She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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