We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
