just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize