You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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