He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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