Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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