you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
