The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
