why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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