then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
