Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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