Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
