I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
