he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
