you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
