Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
