Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
