Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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