Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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