Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
