Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
