is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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