I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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