then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
