nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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