About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
