Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
