I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
