btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
