i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
