I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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