Cold hands, warm shart.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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