I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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