so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
