We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
