You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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