Say something about gay babies.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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