I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
