But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
