none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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