'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
