drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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