Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize