why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
