She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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