I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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