All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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