At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
