he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
