I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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