Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
