Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
