wake up i wanna do it froggy style
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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