My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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