One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
