I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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