Sponge bath it is.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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