I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
