Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
