his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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