Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
His hands were made for my vagina.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
