I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I believe in your delicious
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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