Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
